Tuesday, 20 March 2012


Did I hear people go Oouch...as if they heard something very traumatic and totally go in the sympathetic zone with you, who is going to embark upon this dreadful journey....but if you are doing it for the first time...your eyes roll over, he/ she is totally exaggerating it...and so you ask...it can't be that bad....r..right...hmm....then comes a sigh...you got to do it to believe it....and they do the unthinkable, going into FB (not facebook, Flash Back) start recounting their moments of sheer torture, when they had to hear it for the first time...from the most dreaded kind of doctor in the world, yes the one who though looks cute, charming and very very welcoming, also has the chair symbolizing a very comfortable resting chair but the only difference is you wont be at the beach, but someone would be drilling and poking inside your mouth....yes THE DENTIST.....
So the next morning, you still try to put on a brave face and convince yourself, it can't be that bad...and reach for your 10.30  appointment....and guess what there is already a person before you waiting for his 10.15 appointment. So you think, it won't take long....as it might be just 15 min procedure....well that's what you think... but in the dentistry world, time moves in a totally different zone, whereby 15 minutes procedure will symbolize 45 minutes, and so on a so forth....but as you are oblivious to that fact, you have to be there to realize it....so then you pick up a magazine and slowly browse through the various sections, that's when the dentist's room opens and out comes a fellow sufferer, with a hand over his cheek...and babbling to the doctor asking for the next appointment....well that's what happens when your one side of the cheek is numb...and all the water comes out of your mouth, as if you were drooling....you then continue browsing the magazine, as in goes the previous patient....and thennnnnnnnn his procedure begins...you hear all sorts of noises...like someone is drilling the hell out of someone...you would want to expect it to be the wall, but unfortunately its someones mouth...after much drilling and poking, and some noises like Ohh and Aahhh...finally the guy comes out after half an hour...and now its your turn to face the moment of truth....
So  you gather all your courage and step inside the dentists room, at first it looks all rosy, with a cozy chair inviting you to almost sleep over it....a nice assistant tugging a napkin over your collar, keeping a glass of water ready for you...so far so good...and all sorts of pictures of various kind of decayed tooth displayed over the walls, you think, huhhh...that cant be me...mine can't be that bad....and then...when the bait is ready....the although sexy doctor turns around but the scene that you are about to witness is something like the movie chain saw...except for the saw here, she has a drill in her hand....and a sweet smile on her face, which apparently is hidden behind her mask.. then after some sweet talks from behind the mask, she lowers your chair with a silent promise of taking you to a new world....that's when you wish, if only I was in an aircraft right now, whereby I could have thoroughly enjoyed this chair during my long flights....but God has his ways of torturing us and giving us what we ask for, but of course at the wrong time and in the wrong place....so unfortunately what we wish is not what we always get...
One might wonder what are assistants for, although they can add to the glamor quotient...but guess what they have a bigger purpose in life, than just to look pretty and stand next to you....I mean...what on earth is that machine..that they are asked to handle....goshh....its something like a sucker...a water sucker, a vacuum for sucking water out of your mouth..and leaving you gasping and gulping your only available throat saliva.....
So now you know the sexy assistant is the dentist vamp's sidekick when the grueling procedure of root canal begins, whereby no matter you pray as loud as you want inside your head....the God's above are laughing at our expense....as they watch happily our mouths been screwed royally and pointing at us and saying, who ever asked you to have a sweet tooth, and be so careless about your cavities...now this is your reward....and that's when no amount of prayer can ever help you, as you feel the cliched slogan coming true, what you sow, so shall you reap....
So you may say, but why it can't be a simple procedure of just a 2 minute drilling and polishing and there you go..its done...why it has to be ROOT CANAL....what did I do so wrong...GOD...why did you have to do this to ME....
Well for the ones who do not know about his procedure, it goes like this.....its a procedure, which could potentially suck the very life out of you....and it might even end up altering your daily routine as well....first of all, it just starts with a minimalistic 7-10 sittings...so you might feel how hard could that be...but then the doctors busy schedule starts messing around with your busy life schedule...and then everything revolves around the dentist and you have to lay your weapons down...so the procedure begins...the first day feels like hell, when the pointed drill like thing hits your tooth....you are like...whooooaaa what was that, now you might sympathize with Mother Earth, who has to endure all the drilling and digging that humans often indulge in...then it goes on for several minutes...with the sweet masked dentist trying to divert your mind by chatting with you...and if its a lady, god help you....first the drill then the dentist's constant yapping...if that's not all, the assistant is constantly poking the bottom of your mouth with the water sucker and potentially doing a good job according to the dentist, but the dentist for want of accuracy, will occasionally grab the sucker from THE SUCKER assistant and do the honors of poking more and sucking out even a single tiny drop of water accidentally retained in your mouth....
then comes a day, when you are confronted with the most destructive weapon the dentist could ever possess...THE INJECTION....and looking at the needle you feel, I rather be dead, but face this torture....but after putting on a brave face,  you come out with a numb cheek...and somehow yearn for the days when this will all be over....but suddenly then when you are going to breathe a sigh of relief you realize though the phase of digging is over...as the tooth is cleaned from the inside....then comes the phase of poking and pricking ...whereby...the doctor...literally holds a needle in front of you and inserts the same inside your mouth and very happily pokes around....just to see if she has dug a hole big enough....that's when you might feel you would faint and wonder if she is creating another Khyber pass or a secret hide out inside your mouth...I mean why should there be such a big hole inside your tooth....
So this is when a lot of chanting of your favorite God will come to your rescue...as you constantly bribe the God, and promise him that you would behave yourself, be good to your family, friends, neighbor, and for that sake even the dhobiwala, doodhwala, paperwala, etc....., if only he saves you from this horrific self imposed torture...as you try to reason things out with God...saying..so what my tooth is decayed...its not like I'll die if I don't get it repaired, but still as a good citizen and a responsible grown up, I've come to face my fears, but can you please spare me now...and get me out of this place alive...
That's when the heavens door open and finally the dentist is nearing the last stages, when she actually puts metal strings and small bars inside your tooth, and the procedure almost feels like having constructed a building inside your mouth, as the analogy is perfect of having dug the earth, put the rods for the foundation and finally the toot is filled up with cement...and its held tight with a silver or a ceramic cap...to symbolize the ultimate sacrifice you have done to restore the dilapidated structure..YOUR WISDOM TOOTH...
So you congratulate yourself for having survived this tremendous nerve wrecking ordeal of a potential Route Canal, which is what it should have been aptly named as, as the procedure is symbolic to have constructed an alternative Route, although inside your mouth....so now you feel, after this you can face anything in the world, what more can cause you any damage...
AND then........ comes the biggest damage, you could ever imagine..when the dentist smoothly hands over the bill....and you wonder...huhhhhh...is this even real, I mean wasn't it enough I actually went through this God forsaken hell hole procedure, and now I've to remember it for the rest of my life, with a biggest dent in my pocket...and then you begin cursing God...is this the price I pay for getting drilled around, getting poked with sharp needles, facing the most dreaded weapon ever the injection and getting practically burnt with the foreign body the steel rods inserted forever inside my mouth....if this wasn't enough, she has to put a HOLE IN MY POCKET AS WELL.....and that's when you really feel had you brushed twice, took notice of your cavities in time....or just simply watched your mouth while gulping down several sweets, pastries, chocolates...and all the sweet stuff...which look inviting...but we end up paying a heavy price (literally) for having them...such is life's dearies....
So next time you royally indulge into the sweet world of sweets, pastries, chocolates...and Ignore Your Cavities....then don't forget your inevitable visit to the Dentist...which very well might end up into a potential Route Canal...which even if you reminisce years later, it will send shivers down your spine...as this one experience will haunt you forever....and you would never wish to have one again.........THE ROOOOOOT CANAL............


  1. Hi Seeta,

    Congratulations. Very interesting . You have written good articles. I loved reading them. Please do send me more if you write more such articles.

    Love to u and Rajesh.

  2. Thanks aunty, that is so sweet of you, so glad that you liked them, sure keep watching out for more and also keep an eye out for my new book that is going to be published soon, as it is in the final stages, so until then keep enjoying my blogs...

    Thanks & Regards,

  3. very nicely written..
    Neeraj Taneja

    1. thanks neeraj, glad that you liked the post,keep watching out for more...


  4. Wow – seeta ! way to go

    Awesome writing . humouros and sharp

    U can really work on developing herself as a writer -

    Best Regards
    Lalitha Ramesh

    1. Hi Lalitha Aunty,

      Thank you so much for your appreciation, it means a lot to me, well sure, I've written a book as well, so keep watching the space for the details on the same and the date of launch. Until then have fun with these light anecdotes on life...


  5. Pl keep on adding more & more its nice & intersting

    Warm Regards,

    Anup Rathi

  6. Hi Anup,

    Nice to know that you enjoyed my painful...yet true post...well if you liked this one, then keep watching out for more...soon I'm gonna post the second part of My Pictorial Travelogue...for you guys to enjoy...from the scenes from Incredible India, and hopefully take you on a virtual ride on our diverse yet beautiful country....until then have fun reading and go on and share it with your friends as well...
    take care & god bless you..